I've read so many posts about the feelings you encounter while pregnant after struggling with infertility. I had that experience for 17 weeks and one day. That's how long I was pregnant with my twins the first pregnancy. I was a little nervous then, but nothing can compare to how I feel now. Being pregnant after loss is nerve-wracking at least for me it is. I wake up everyday thinking today is my last day. Every little pinch makes me nervous I feel like I'm on an emotional roller coaster. I'm afraid to be happy, afraid to enjoy this pregnancy. I start googling baby gear and all of the sudden I start to feel things and the stress sets in.
I've been trying to relax, deep breathing and positive thinking. Sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't. It's very hard but I'm trying my best, just taking it one day at a time.
I can't believe my last post was so long ago. My future sister in law reads my blog and said she was kind of pissed because I don't update my blog! Lol I told her I didn't have anything to talk about. And she reminded me of all my trips to the Dr and the ER. So I guess I'll entertain myself writing about it, maybe that will take my mind of the constant thinking or maybe make it worst! Whatever..... here it goes.
At 15w3d on a Tuesday I woke up spotting out of nowhere, no cramps, just spotting. I went to the Dr. They did an U/S everything was fine, went home and the spotting stopped.
That next saturday at exactly 16 weeks I was feeling discomfort and I had some kind of a discharge. I started going nuts. I went straight to triage. When I got there my dress was wet so I thought: there goes my water and the discomfort is my water breaking! I was peeing every two minutes, just little drops. They checked everything and there was nothing wrong. My water didn't break, no UTI, got an U/S cervix was long and closed. I went home and sunday had a strong pain on my left side under my ribs. Veryyy painful but it only lasted like 15 minutes. The next day went to the OB. He gave me antibiotics and did an urine culture just in case. I started getting the pain again at night it lasted 20 minutes but then it went away.
Tuesday night the pain starts again this time minutes pass and the pain is still there, I started getting nauseous. This time I knew something else was wrong, but I knew it had nothing to do with the babies. After almost an hour with pain we go to the Er.
They start doing bloodwork the pain gets worst to the point that it makes me nauseous and I vomit two times in the ER (sorry TMI) the Dr there suspects a kidney stone and takes me for an U/S to check my kidneys. Ohh the gave me something for the pain, but the U/S was painful because of the pressure. The Dr said I had hydronephrosis meaning my kidney was a little swollen because urine is coming back to it. She said it could be my uterus blocking my urethra. I was sent home. The past days were a little uncomfortable but nothing I couldn't handle. I did have a couple of breakdowns, I was so scared!
Saturday I'm laying in bed and I start to feel discomfort down there. I was feeling a ripping sensation, of course the first thing I thought again was that my cerclage was ripping open. I tried to calm myself, drank some water and put some pillows under my legs ( so the babies stay in... Right) we were already talking about going to the ER but some friends called to say they were coming over so I thought maybe that would keep my mind distracted, maybe this was all in my head. I go take a shower and voila! There comes the stone! So at the end the week long discomfort and pain was because of that freaking kidney stone.
Since then I've been feeling much better a little bit of round ligament pain, nothing mayor but it stills freaks me out.
So far the babies are doing good, I can feel them poking a little bit. My belly is huge, I never got a belly on my last pregnancy so this is exciting and new. Is a little uncomfortable to sleep at night but at the end it will be all worth it.
This Saturday I will be 18 weeks! :)
I have an U/S next Tuesday, hopefully we'll know what we're having then!
I'll keep you posted!
