Sunday, March 10, 2013

I wish it was just a bad dream

Every morning I wake up wishing it was just a bad dream. But it's not. I miss my babies so much. I feel so guilty. I failed them. My body failed them.
Posted by Lola at 8:59 PM

13 comments:

  1. Puzzle peaceMarch 11, 2013 at 5:03 AM

    I am so sorry. please know that you did nothing wrong. life is cruel and i am so sorry you have to go through this again

    ReplyDelete
  2. ADSchillMarch 11, 2013 at 8:00 AM

    There are no words. Just do what you need to do to get through this and know we are here for you. Vent if you need to. Your babies love you.

    ReplyDelete
  3. LifeMarch 12, 2013 at 12:29 AM

    I am so so sorry that you have to go through this again. I can't say anything to make it better. Know we are here for you.... Hugs

    ReplyDelete
  4. AnonymousMarch 12, 2013 at 4:54 AM

    I am so sorry

    ReplyDelete
  5. SadieMarch 12, 2013 at 9:58 AM

    I just found my way to your blog. Lola, I am so so sorry for your losses. None of this is fair and no one should have to go through this kind of pain even once. You did everything you could and were (are!) a loving mother to your sweet babies. Thinking of you and sending healing thoughts.

    ReplyDelete
  6. VeroniqueMarch 12, 2013 at 3:15 PM

    I'm SO sorry for what you're going through again.. I can't imagine the pain.. But you did NOTHING wrong. This is not your fault.

    ReplyDelete
  7. AnonymousMarch 12, 2013 at 7:14 PM

    Lola....there are no words. You did not deserve this in any way and there is no way this is your fault. You loved those babies from conception on - and ALL those babies knew was love. I cannot imagine the space you are in right now. It breaks my heart. Take care of yourself and your husband. xo

    ReplyDelete
  8. LisaMarch 13, 2013 at 6:17 PM

    We all wish it was a bad dream too. I'm so sorry you have to be going through this again. I hope for you that each day feels less heavy. You're in my thoughts.

    ReplyDelete
  9. AnonymousMarch 14, 2013 at 9:39 AM

    I'm sorry for what you are enduring.

    ReplyDelete
  10. LadyWMarch 14, 2013 at 5:36 PM

    I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Keeping you in prayer!

    ReplyDelete
  11. erikaMarch 17, 2013 at 7:57 AM

    I am so very sorry for your loss!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Mr. Thompson and MeMarch 22, 2013 at 6:37 PM

    It's cruel and I'm so sorry that you have to go through this. Just know that my thoughts and prayers are very directly being sent your way. ((hugs))

    ReplyDelete
  13. AnonymousMarch 23, 2013 at 8:28 AM

    Lola Im so very sorry this happened again, its not your fault, but its so unfair please dont blame yourself im sending you all my love and support i wish there was something that would make this nightmare go away. Nancy

    ReplyDelete

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Waiting For Baby

June 2009- 4cm Fibroid found in Uterus
November 2009 - We got Married!
November 2009 - TTC
March 2010 - Hysterosalpingogram showe left tube blocked.
September 2010 - Fibroid now 9.5 cm
September 2010- Laparoscopy unsuccesful due to adhesions diagnosis Stage 4 endometriosis.
September 2010- Myomectomy 10.5 cm Fibroid removal, cleared some adhesions.
October 2010 - Continue TTC
December 2010 - Nothing yet move to IVF.

IVF #1 (2 embryos) - BFN
IVF #2 (3 embryos) - BFP
Boy/Girl Twins
Miscarriage 15 weeks
IVF # 3 (1 embryo) - BFN
FET # 1 (2 embryos) - BFP
Boy/Girl Twins
Miscarriage 21w4d

New Journey... Surrogacy
FET # June 27th, 2013


 
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