I know I've been MIA again. But I really didn't have anything interesting to write about.
I recently started my Natural FET cycle. AF arrived 5 days late on the 21st.
I was supposed to start the Ovulation tests on October 2nd, I told the nurse I was going to start testing sooner, she said it was OK but that it would be very rare to ovulate so soon. Since only weird things happen to me I decided to test on the 27th, I was supposed to test morning and night but I've been testing every time I pee!! with a digital and a non-digital one. I'm obsessed!!
On Friday the 28th I got a faint positive but the digital was negative. The nurse said that as long as the digital was negative I was not ovulating.
I went for my first U/S on the 3rd. My follicles were kind of small and my lining thin. I have a humongous endometrioma on my right Ovary. I mean huge!!! My estrogen levels were on the low side.
I find this very amusing. When I was on the Lupron my estrogen levels were going up like crazy when they were not supposed to, now that I'm not suppressing my ovaries and everything is natural my estrogen level doesn't go up.
This morning I finally got a positive on my digital test, went in for B/W and U/S, my lining got thicker, the follies grew a little bit but not so much. My estrogen levels are still low.
The doctor suggested I put 3 estrogen patches (there goes my natural cycle) and I have to go back tomorrow morning for B/W and U/S.
I hate the fact that I just talk to the nurses, they can't really explain to me what's going to happen and my Dr. doesn't make an effort to talk to me and explain the situation, explain what's happening and what could happen.
I miss Dr. H so much, there is nobody like him. Someone who really cares about his patients. He finally started working again. If this FET doesn't work and taking my embryos and going back to Dr. H.
I had a serious talk with my husband and we decided this will be our last try. If this didn't happen we would look for a surrogate. That decision lasted for like two days in my mind, now I don't know if I'm ready to give up. Nobody understands...
On another note, Sunday is my husband's birthday, that means is going to be a year since we lost baby A, our little girl. And two weeks later will be a year since I had to be induced and lost baby B our little boy. It's such a horrible feeling. I don't know what I'm going to do. I just wish I could sleep this day and wake up on the 20th.
I can't believe a year has passed. So fast.
It's kind of a messy post, I hope you understand what you're reading, but I'm not in the mood of putting a nice writing together. Bare with me.
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I've been looking out for your post. Sucks that your doctor is so hands off and you have to rely on the nurses for information. My current nurse at my Ob has an appt with Dr. H today for a second opinion. But she'll be cycling in Dallas with my clinic since their success rates are way above any Florida clinics and their cheaper. But I told her doctor H will give an honest second opinion. She didn't like the way Dr. A was to her.
ReplyDeleteI wish you tons of luck hon. I know this isn't an easy road but I hope you don't give up. Of what's bet for you. Hugs!
I am right there with you on the Angelversary. My twins passing will be a year in one week. It's really hard no matter where you are in your journey. Please take time to digest it and remember them. I'm sorry you have to deal with this kind of loss.
ReplyDeleteI would insist on talking to the doctor or having him/her call you back. The nurses are very knowledgable but you are there to see RE's. If you want to have the doctor consult with you, you should be able to have it.
MissC
Praying for you that this cycle still works out even though it's not technically a natural cycle any more. At least you don't have to take the daily stims - that's something on the positive side.
ReplyDeleteSending hugs and prayers your way. XO